Sucker Punch Snyder Movie Review

Success is a dangerous thing, because you get blank checks to do whatever you want. Bruce Willis learned this lesson with the dismal Hudson Hawk and now it is Zack Snyder’s turn to run embarrassed out of theaters with his latest movie, Sucker Punch. The suckers being punched are in the audience for falling head over geek-heels at the steampunk samurai trailers for this movie. Many young boys eagerly paid good money to see scantily-clad girls shoot and slash their way through hoards of Nazis, dragons, samurai warriors and robots, feeding their basest videogame erotic fantasies of sex and violence.
Yes, there are spectacular scenes of girls with short skirts, bare mid-riffs and black lingerie cleaving robots in two and riddling steam-powered Nazi stormtroopers with hot lead. Yes, there are lots of slow-motion bullets ripping through heads and shiny blades slicing torsos and limbs asunder. Yes, yes, yes. However, for every stunning battle scene there are three girls-crying-in-the-asylum scenes which make no sense and build to the worst ending I’ve seen in a movie since Stephen King’s The Mist.
It is a shame to see the visually-talented Snyder lose his way so badly, but he crafted this story and has no-one else to blame for blowing $75 million dollars of studio money on this gloomy tale of girls locked away in their underwear. The only hope for this movie is that it becomes a much-loved cult movie like Showgirls or Plan 9 from Outer Space and audiences come back in costume and repeat the lines a la Rocky Horror and get into the whole Sucker World of ridiculous fantasy.
This may not be so odd to consider in an age where a 13-year-old can attract 33 million viewers to a song billed as “the worst song ever!” Sucker Punch is not “the worst movie ever” but only because this award contains a large and ultra-competitive field of nominees.


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