“Off with their heads!” is the phrase that will haunt Alice’s therapy sessions for years to come as she deals with her dreams of caterpillars who smoke, cats who smile and mad Johnny Depp wearing silly hats and an awful red wig. Of course, the Deppster remains, to quote the girls behind me, “ridiculously hot”. Go figure.
Alice in Wonderland is a 3D crayola fantasy for about an hour and then turns into Joan D’Arc slaying the Dragon because it is her destiny – written on that long scrolly-thing we’ve seen about a hundred times in the movie so we don’t forget. Predictable story aside, the theater was sold out on opening night and this movie will do huge business and Johnny Depp can write his own ticket to do anything he wants. However, the full house was quiet throughout and no cheers or clapping rang out at the end so this movie will open but not have the legs to sustain the mountain of Alice-related products Disney has licensed from clothing to tea pots. So sad.